It is time! I have grown so much during covid. I have been working on healing old wounds, finding myself, finding love, and knowing my worth. I am working on finding a healthy balance and routine in my life, now that things are returning back to “normal”.
My theme for this transition? Get moving!
I am literally moving out of my one bedroom, one bathroom apartment. This place has served me well since picking up everything I could and planting myself in the city I now call home. This place allowed me to get on my feet. But it has been seven years. The housing market still looks dismal. So instead of continuing to hold my breath, I am moving to a bigger place. That way I can feel improved and still hold out for my dream home.
In this process of moving I plan on going through EVERYTHING to get rid of what no longer serves me and who I want to become. I have hoarded in the past due to never having enough in past years. I know I can find a way to make use of anything, but I know longer need to. I now get to be selective of my craftiness. I can decide if I want to. I am moving on from fear of loss, and lightening my load.
Getting moving is for more than just actual relocation of where I call home though. I also am working on finding my healthy habits. I am running 5ks again. I want to train and improve. What I love about races is the atmosphere of everyone trying to be their best self for a bigger purpose. It’s fun and rewarding to just finish something hard. It helps you measure your improvement. I want to improve, so I need to be consistent. I need to strength train as well. I know that my body is not built like others. I am built for strength. So I need to do more strength training. I need to stretch and mentally recover as well. I plan to add in yoga after I get my strength training regularly. I will figure out a walking/running schedule. But more than anything, my goal is to just get moving!
Lastly, with all of this. I plan to move on from a lot of unhealthy relationships. I have been working on the relationship I have with myself the most. I am realizing who I am as a person. I am realizing why I made mistakes in the past. How I let others down. Why I fail myself the most. I am growing from this knowledge and taking the lessons with me. However, I do not need to continue to hold onto every person I have encountered and valued in my life for forever. Some people were there for me for a season, for a spring, in order for me to learn and grow. Some lessons were hard to learn, but I will never forget what value those hard lessons offered me. I do not want to play victim and make anyone out as bad. But I need to move on from the presence of certain others in order to actually use the lessons I learned and not dwell in the past. I can move on with my life and they can move on with theirs.
I think I also hoarded people. I have collected acquaintances over the years because growing up I moved too much to keep friends. I have always collected new to cover up all the ones I have lost. I am always scared of being forgotten and alone. I have not valued myself as a friend because I always felt I didn’t have enough to offer when I have struggled. I have gotten jealous. I have gotten used. I have made soul connections that are just good people sharing good vibes. I have been there for people when they needed just anybody. But I know that in trying to friend so many, I have failed at being a good friend to all. So I have been slowing falling back. Covid helped me step back to see who I truly needed, and who truly wanted me in their life. I now am working to tighten my circle and treat those within it right.
This operation get moving will help my growth into my desired future. I am moving up closer to where I have hoped I could be. I want a home and family and career that I love, surrounded by friends that can be my community. Moving on up!
