Not the Bump in the Road I wanted

I am one of those people that every time I drive, I imagine a scenario of me getting into a car accident. I can't help it with the way other cars drive and how my brain works to always prepare for the worst.

That's probably why I was so numb and slow to react when it finally happened.

It was raining really hard, I was on some shitty back road with lots of turns and potholes and hills. I have a car behind me riding my ass. I am a good distance from the car in front of me and going slower due to conditions. Then what I imagine happens. The car in front of me suddenly stops. I start to break, then slam on my breaks. My anti lock brakes kick in because the roads are so wet, and I just slide down the hill. My mind goes nowhere else but to beg my car to please stop in time. I knew I wasn't going to die, because my life didn't flash before my eyes, but I knew life loves handing me struggles, so of course I hit the car in front of me. Great. I sit there, as the car riding my ass swerves around me on my right side in the ditch to the nose of her car being in front of mine. I roll my window down and put on my hazards. She is yelling. The car I hit starts to drive. The lady beside me follows. I follow them into the church parking lot we are by. The car I hit driver was an older gentleman. He is out of his car taking pictures of the front and rear of his car. The other lady is still yelling. Saying debris under her car caused damage. The older gentleman takes pictures. I get out of my car to look at the damage of my car. It looks like it took out it's dentures. A sunken in face. I take pictures with my phone. The third car drives off. The older gentleman walks over to me to ask if I'm ok. I'm just shaking. He says there is no damage to his car. Him and his wife are ok. He asks if I'm calling police. I call police and get transferred three times before finally getting someone dispatched to me.

I am barely functioning, as I have no idea what to do because nothing like this has ever happened to me.

The older gentleman returns and hold an umbrella over me. We walk over to let me take pictures of his car and the zero damage I caused. I go back to my car to reassess damage and take more pictures. I roll up my window and shut the door. I stand there and submit my claim to insurance. I'm still shaking. The older gentleman offers me into his car to wait for the cops since it's warm in there and we can continue to talk outside of the rain. It turns out he had to suddenly stop because the car in front of him stopped hard. He was scared they wouldn't stop in time, but did. Then a few seconds later they felt me hit them.

We exchanged info for insurance purposes. And the cop is super friendly when he shows up. All ended on a really good note. It was not a four car pile up. No one was hurt. Only the one person was a bitch. And my insurance could walk me through what all I needed to do.

The rest of the day I tensed up whenever I rode with anyone and they stopped, since it was still raining.

But I'm ok.

Life likes to hand me more things to get through as soon as I start to feel like everything's ok.

But I'm ok.

I just wonder if I will still be that driver that pictures the worst. And I wonder if because I do that, if thats why I was mentally just going with the flow for the actual incident. The actual worst did not happen, just an unfortunate situation. Like my mentality, I tried to pump the brakes, but I still slid into crash.

This is another instance of me to show me my own growth and progress.

Not the bump in the road I wanted or needed. Speed bumps are much preferred over a destroyed bumper.

However, I am actually fine to handle this.

Now after my car is repaired you can continue to watch me go.

Running towards my Goals instead of running from my Problems

I finally did a thing.

Since I moved down to Cincinnati almost four years ago, I have told myself I would run a 5k.

Walking 5ks was a very common occurrence for me. I love advocating for things I believed in and doing something about it. When I lived in Toledo I participated in a few walks regularly. I would do Walk for Water, JDRF one walk, Out of the Darkness Walk, and Walk to end Alzheimer's yearly if I could.

Then I moved to Cincinnati and helped my cousin by watching the kids while her and her husband ran. The community for running was amazing!

I am a plump girl and running hasn't been my thing. I normally only ran from my problems or ran my mouth.

But I repeatedly told myself every year that I could train to run 3.1 miles. It could be possible.

Then I would sign up to just walk again.

The American heart Association would partner with my work to have runs and walks yearly. Last year I was able to do the walk and got a medal. It felt good and I wanted more.

After getting help with my depression and anxiety, and getting help with my thyroid, I was finally ready to get healthy again.

I've been on this weight loss journey for a while. Since my divorce I have been back and forth on my goal of losing 100 pounds from my heaviest.

So January of 2019 I decide to take over and organize the Biggest Loser competition at work. I get 20 people to sign up. There are people to hold me accountable and a reward now.

The 5k run was in March. So I signed up for the run and began to train. I was working 5 nights a week, and after work I would stay over to workout in the gym in the basement at work. I commited to 3.1 miles for every workout, be it running or walking. Whatever I had time for I would do.  I was able to run a full mile, which was exciting to do again. I was ecstatic when I ran most of 3 miles two weeks before the race. My plan was to train outside on pavement the following week.

However, I got sick. I had to stay in bed to get healthy enough to function, let alone run. So I tried to recover.

The day of the race came and I had not finished the training that I had wanted to. So I told myself to just repeat two phrases: 1) At least you are not walking 2) Push through to the high. I was going to run with my cousin, but she decided to walk with another friend. I trained for this, so I decided to run alone. I put in my earbuds, and I went. A few times I slowed down, this was a super hilly course! However, I would find a guy and pretend to catch up to him and run with him in case he was single as well. Or I would find a girl that looked my build and try to keep up with her. I ran faster down every hill. I pushed myself.

When I crossed the finish line I was amazed to find that I had beat my best treadmill time!!!

I went to take a picture of me crossing the line, and my phone froze and restarted. Yes, at that exact moment.

But I collected my medal THAT I EARNED. I was so proud of myself!!!!

I decided I would continue to do 5ks. I can keep running three miles for sure!

But my success inspired my cousin who had been wanting to do a half marathon for a while.

So now guess who is training for a half marathon.

This girl who used to run from her problems, is now using her problems to fuel her runs.

I am hoping to hit my weight loss goal as well as cross that finish line with mostly running.

I did a thing, and in my reaching goals finally I have inspired others, which is in return pushing me farther towards success.

Who am I?

I love it.